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resources for effective children's ministry
About The Children's Department - Volume 4, Edition 1 Copyright © Lynda Freeman Last Updated March 10, 2000 Web Page by Lynda Freeman Send an e-mail to Lynda at dfreemansr@earthlink.net
I believe one of the most important outreaches our churches can and should make a priority of are those that help strengthen families. If we truly want to see our churches grow and be genuinely effective, we need to be able to reach into our communities and touch lives - families are so in need of help, if we are willing to reach out we will find many families will respond. In the past several issues of "About the Children's Department" and "About the Youth Department" we have included reviews of a number of parenting books and resources - in this issue we will look at my top five picks for parenting books, re-run an article from our Winter 98 issue and include a new idea for outreach to families in the community as well as an idea for families to help them grow together as they learn more about Jesus.
Ministry Idea - Family to Family Outreach
GOAL - to encourage church families to reach out to an unchurched family and show Christ's love to them
Steps to implement:
If we show families in the community we care about them, we will have the opportunity to invite them to church, to parenting classes - to put their trust in Christ! The goal of family to family outreach is to make contact and build bridges for future contact.
- put together a team comprised of a church leader and a couple of families
They will:
- decide how to promote
- consider making a video, filming your community and people and families from your church and have someone sing, "Heaven in the Real World" from Steven Curtis Chapman while the video plays in the church.
- develop a slogan and make posters, buttons, etc. to promote
- put together a skit to help people understand the goal of this outreach and present it in church
- make a calendar of events, begin with two or three a year
- neighborhood barbecue - held in the church parking lot, have church families bring their grills and invite unchurched families to a free lunch - have church families bring food and plan games . . . involve the youth in making carnival type booths
- post Christmas party - invite families to come to a party after Christmas and have cookies, games, songs, a tree with gifts . . . a book for each unchurched family - take a special offering for the books
- Family's funniest Home Video Party - invite unchurched families to come to the party - have them submit their funny videos two weeks in advance to include in the show, have prizes for funniest, most unusual and most memorable videos
- harvest dinner - invite families to join your church family for a harvest dinner in the fall with special music and stories for the children
- come up with ideas of your own - just be sure there are no costs for the unchurched families you are reaching out to.
- promote in the church and community
- visit adult classes and explain the goal and ask them to pray about who they could invite
- help church understand the goal so they will be ready to welcome the new families into the church as they begin to come
- put together prayer support team to bathe the entire ministry in prayer in an ongoing fashion
- be ready to help new families with parenting classes and mentoring parents
Ministry Idea - Mentoring Parents Ministry
GOAL - to team up parents who pretty much did a good job of raising their children - keeping in mind there are no perfect parents - with parents who want help
Steps to implement
If we are successful at helping to build and strengthen and encourage our families, we will see a stronger church and community as the result!
- approach parents who basically were successful parents and ask them to pray about being a part of a parent mentoring ministry
- be sure they know what they are committing to:
- to meet regularly with on set of parents - or single parent to encourage and mentor them as they raise their child or children
- to pray faithfully for and with the parent they are mentoring
- to recommend and go through with them specific books on parenting
- to answer their questions and to help them find answers to specific parenting concerns
- let parents know if they would be willing to be mentored you will help find a parenting team to mentor them
- meet on a regular basis - once a quarter - with mentoring parents to see how they are doing with the parents they are mentoring
- send notes of encouragement on a regular basis to the mentoring parent
- recommend books and resources the mentoring parents will be able to utilize with the parents they are mentoring
The Knowing Jesus Study Bible
Editors - Dr. Edward Dobson & Dr. Edward Hindson
Publisher - Zondervan PublishingThis Bible is an excellent resource for families with older elementary and teen age children to utilize for family devotions as there are enough built in devotions to last a year and take you from Genesis to Revelation showing you Jesus in the Bible. We all know how beneficial it can be to personally read through the entire Bible, consider the benefit to your family as a whole and as well as to each individual if you read through the Bible together. Add to that the joy of learning to know Jesus better from the well written devotions and you have the ideal tool for families to use to grow closer together as well as closer in their own walk with Jesus!
Favorite Features:
- NIV
- The Top Ten Surprises about Jesus - by Philip Yancey
- in text notes
- 365 daily studies to help you know Jesus better
This Bible is an excellent choice for families to utilize together to get to know Jesus - and each other - better! I highly recommend this Bible for families to use over a year - or two or even three if you are not able to read something every day, do so at least every few days and you will see positive results in your family and in your own life as well! Extremely well done Edward, Edward and Zondervan Publishing!
Parenting Today's Adolescent
Authors - Dennis & Barbara Rainey with Bruce Nygreen
Publisher - Thomas Nelson PublishingJust as we think we are finally getting the "hang" of parenting, we learn that parenting teens is so totally different from parenting younger children. There can be many wonderful aspects about parenting teens, but it can also be tremendously frustrating. When we have to deal with teen attitudes and anger we often feel like failures as parents. This book by Dennis and Barbara Rainey is one of the best resources for practical information that really works!
Favorite Features:
- excellent, genuinely helpful information that will really work
- Biblically sound advice
- teaches about the top 14 "traps" our teens face and how to guide them through these traps
- peer pressure
- sex, part 1 and part 2
- dating
- attitudes
- media
- unresolved anger
- appearance
- deceit
- substance abuse
- busyness
- the tongue
- mediocrity
- pornography
- false gods
- seven priorities for the effective parent
- prayer
- standards
- involvement
- training
- community
- direction
- perseverance
- each chapter on a "trap" provides:
- information to help you determine your convictions related to that trap
- information to help you shape your child's convictions
- information to help you test your child's convictions
- helpful information for the single parent
- active teaching idea to help you teach that truth to your kids
- conviction building plan to help "you move from just thinking about how to help your teen to face challenges and form convictions to actually implementing ideas and solutions
- appendix A - helpful information on puberty
- appendix B - resource list
There are many excellent resources to help parents learn to parent better and more effectively, but this has to be one of the best! I am so thankful that the Raineys chose to be so open and transparent about their own parenting journey - it is so encouraging to see that having a "perfect" family is not the goal - that is unattainable - rather the goal is to raise children who want to love and glorify God by guiding them through the "traps" that would destroy their lives. This book is one every parent needs to read and then keep handy for reference throughout the teen years. Extremely well done Dennis, Barbara, Bruce and Thomas Nelson!
Raising Faithful KidsIn A Fast-Paced World
Author - Dr. Paul Faulkner
Publisher - Howard PublishingI do not know of one Christian parent who does not want to pass their faith on to their children. We all want our children to be faithful kids and eventually adults, but we have all also seen families where the parents believe, but the children do not. Children do not come with instruction manuals, but this book is what an instruction manual would look like if they did!
Favorite Features:
- emphasizes and explains how to parent intentionally
- teaches you can start over and be successful, even if you've made mistakes before
- begins with teaching eight important lessons
- parenting on purpose
- values
- loving your kids
- servant
- laughter
- honesty
- letting them go
- learning to cope
- tells what an "intentional" mother and father are like
- strategies for parenting
- effective discipline
- how to develop family traditions
- discussion guide
We must be effective at passing a legacy of faith on to our children - it is one of the single most important things we can do as parents. I highly recommend this book for all parents - it would work extremely well as a book for a parents group to study together. Extremely well done Paul and Howard Publishing!
What Kids Wish Parents Knew About Parenting
Author - Joe White
Publisher - Howard PublishingThis is a terrific book on parenting! I like how it presents parenting, not as a chore to fear or dread, but rather as an adventure to enjoy and celebrate! There is a wealth of helpful information and ideas any family can try - designed to help build strong, happy successful families. I like the emphasis in this book on encouraging and celebrating our kids and how important it is to tell and show our kids that we love them!
Favorite Features:
- extremely well written chapters filled with excellent information to touch, challenge and encourage parents
- 100 ideas for parents and kids to do together
- relationship inventory for teens
- excellent information on "unconditional listening, unconditional love"
- excellent information on encouraging your kids
- strength and weakness chart
- 50 phrases to encourage your child
This is a book every parent needs to read. It would make an excellent resource for parenting teams - groups of parents who meet on a regular basis to challenge and encourage each other in their parenting journey - to utilize by reading through together. Extremely well done Joe and Howard Publishing!
Ten Secrets For A Successful Family
Author - Adrian Rogers
Publisher - Crossway BooksIt is so important that parents be the primary Christian educators of their children - God's Word clearly teaches this truth. I believe most parents would teach their children - if they had the resources to help them be effective teachers, so this is one area where teachers at church can help out. Most Sunday School curriculum includes resources to send home with kids each week. Take advantage of this and the following week at the beginning of class, talk with your class and ask them what they did during the previous week with their families. If kids know you will be asking them about their family activities, they will be sure their family does something to tell about on Sunday!
Another way teachers can help parents is to recommend parenting books for parents to read. One excellent book to recommend is the "Ten Secrets For A Successful Family" by Adrian Rogers. This book is one every parent needs to read and then keep where they can refer to it often. Adrian takes the Ten Commandments and shows how teaching our children to live by these commands will help build strong, healthy and happy families.
Favorite Features:
- solidly grounded in Scripture
- emphasizes importance of parents - especially dads - teaching their children
- each chapter ends with "Turning the Commandments into Commitments" and includes ideas for ways to teach children in specific age groupings - excellent!
- emphasizes the positive side of each of the Ten Commandments
This is an excellent book filled with solid teaching and practical ideas for parents to utilize to teach their children to live God's way and in so doing to build a strong, happy family. Extremely well done Adrian and Crossway Books!
* Consider asking the parents of the kids in your class to read this book. Then each month focus on one of the ten commandments as a class to help reinforce the teaching in the home.
Loving Words Every Child Needs To Hear
Authors - Ed Anderson & John Peterson
Photographer - Tom Henry
Publisher - J. Countryman/Word
It matters so much that the home is a place where children truly feel loved - it should be a refuge, a safe haven. In far too many homes this is not the case, but we in the children's and even the youth ministry can make a difference by helping parents learn how to support, encourage and affirm children and teens. Consider implementing a "Loving Words Challenge" church wide.
* Goal - To help parents learn to support, encourage and affirm children with loving words.
This challenge won't take long to implement, but the following checklist should help.
One Month Before:
- begin to promote with banners, flyers and special announcements
- consider using "Loving Words" from the book, "Loving Words Every Child Needs To Hear" to make banners, etc.
- ask the Sr. Pastor to use examples of "loving words" from the pulpit to generate interest and to help promote the "challenge"
- articulate the "challenge" to encourage family members to look for ways and times they may use words every day to build their family and to help make home a better place
- read the book, "Loving Words Every Child Needs To Hear" and recruit a team of people to select weekly "loving words" for teachers to send home for parents to utilize
- consider having a special flyer/banner for each week's "loving words challenge"
- visit adult classes to explain the challenge and to encourage parents to commit to the challenge
- consider making a "commitment" form for them to sign
Week of Challenge:
- have teachers send weekly "loving words" home with each child
- make sure weekly "loving words" are displayed
- remind parents to ask children for "challenge" slip for each week
Two weeks after:
- ask parents for results and share with church how it makes a difference in their family
Make the challenge an on-going part of your ministry to families and encourage all families to commit to make loving words a part of their home.No matter what the age of our children, they need the verbal affirmation that they are loved and cherished members of the family. This book provides an abundance of "loving words" examples to help parents and teachers be more aware of what to be sure their children/class know.
Favorite Features:
- divided into five sections showing words that show love, respect, teach, empower and heal
- Scripture throughout
- interesting quotes throughout
- excellent photos
- challenges parents to be intentional in the way they express love to their children
- makes a point that all children - teens included - need to be affirmed
- stresses importance of being sure children know they are a blessing from God
- "Speaking Without Words" & "50 Things To Do Together" - excellent!
- communicates extreme value of investing time in children
- stresses importance of differentiate between what kids do and who they are
- "A Prayer For The World's Children" by Ina Hughs - powerful
- resource list in back of book
All of us, but especially children need to be affirmed with "loving words". Parents and teachers who commit to using words that build and encourage will make a lasting difference in the life of children. It matters how we raise our kids - children who grow up experiencing "loving words" go on to be adults who use "loving words". This book is an excellent resource to help parents and teachers be more aware how "loving words" can make a significant difference in kids lives. Extremely well done Ed, John and J. Countryman!
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