Real Children's Ministry


 
 
    What does and should children's ministry look like in our churches?  What is the true, God given role for the church to fill in the area of training and teaching children?  For many, many years we have mostly focused on the area of teaching in Sunday School, Children's Church, Mid-week Club and Vacation Bible School.  While these are certainly areas the church can and should strive to be as effective as possible due to the tremendous way they allow us to reach in to the "church" kids and out to "community" kids, true, genuine and lasting effectiveness is achieved as the church fills it's role in equipping and encouraging parents to fill their God-given role as the primary teachers of their children.

    Even a quick look at Scripture passages such as Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Psalm 78:1-7, 2 Timothy 1:5 and Ephesians 6:1-4 clearly show how God has entrusted to parents the vital role of passing on a legacy of faith to their children.  When parents take seriously their responsibility and great privilege to train and teach their children, they create a setting ideal for their children to grow to understand, believe and live God's Word!

    I believe there are two primary areas the church can and should focus it's attention on . . . the first being that of equipping and encouraging parents to teach their own children and the second of coming alongside to reinforce and build on that which the parents have done and are doing.  We will look at both of these areas.  First in equipping and encouraging parents we have two groups of parents to consider - church parents and community parents.  I sincerely believe most if not all Christian parents sincerely desire for their children to respond to God's grace and love and then grow in their walk with Him.  Some parents understand their God-given role to teach their children, are committed to doing so and see the fruit of this commitment in the lives of their children.  However, many parents I talk with express their frustration, generally in one of two areas.  First, in not understanding their role - they tell me, "This is why we bring our kids to church, so they can learn about God and the Bible."  These parents love their children, but see the church as the primary - and in far too many cases, the sole - spiritual educator for their children.  While it is true the church has an important and much needed role in coming alongside and building on that which the parents have done and are doing to train their children, the church cannot nor should be the primary or sole trainer/teacher of children.  Scripture is clear this is a responsibility, privilege and joy given to parents - they are to train children as they rise as they walk . . . throughout the day.  Parents are the people in the position to train their children day-in-day-out . . . throughout life.  Teachers at church are not able to train and influence children to this extent, it is clear God's plan is for parents to be the primary trainers of their children.  When we work with parents to help them understand their role we need to be clear in helping parents realize the difference between teaching facts only and passing on a true legacy of faith.  Too often church parents think when they are teaching Bible stories and making their kids memorize verses they are filling this role.  However, passing on a legacy of faith is not about adding to the head knowledge of kids - it is about helping children understand how to make real connections between life and God's Word that impacts the choices made and the way we live.

    The second area of frustration parents have shared with me has to do with parents feeling inadequate to teach their children.  Many parents have only a head, fact-based knowledge of Scripture and feel completely at a loss as to how to connect Scripture facts with their own lives let alone teach their children how to do this.  There are parents who do not have the confidence to relate what God's Word says about issues like discipline, sibling relationships, how to lead their child to Christ, how to give, how to pray, how to serve and the list goes on.  If a parent lacks confidence or does not have the information they need, they will not train their children.

    Community parents may not recognize the need to pass a legacy of faith to their children - especially if they lack faith themselves - but many parents, especially single parents are looking for answers to both their parenting concerns as well as answers to the problems and challenges they face in life.  This provides the church a golden opportunity to touch lives as they reach out to the community and in so doing, impact families in real and lasting ways.

    So what can and should the church do to help parents in these areas?  Equipping parents involves training them and this is a vital - sadly often ignored - area of critical ministry the church is in the unique place to offer to parents, both from within the church as well as the community.  The church can impact church families by offering classes to help parents in the following areas:

The church can impact and equip church and community parents by offering classes in these areas as well:


    I had the opportunity to talk with Children's Directors and Pastors from churches across the country to see what they are doing to equip parents and how they get church and community parents to attend their training opportunities.  Most of the churches I spoke with told me while they wanted to provide opportunities to equip and train parents and knew this had to be a vital component of effective ministry to their kids, they were not really doing so.  The churches that were providing any equipping and training opportunities were mostly implementing them through their small group ministry.  These opportunities were successful because to begin with, the invitations to attend - especially to community parents - were delivered personally, by a church parent and the class began with a relationship in place to build from.  In fact, one large church told me 90% of community parents were brought into their church by relationships with those who attended the church.  People in and out of the church are looking for real relationships and if we provide opportunities for people to find these relationships and at the same time strengthen their parenting skills, their marriages, their families, we will not only find parents attending our training classes, but will find ourselves successful at the other part of effective ministry to children - building, equipping and encouraging the family as well!

    We only see kids for a few hours a week.  If parents understood their roll as primary trainers/teachers for their children and felt equipped and confident to do so, these families would be strengthened and our ministry would be many times more effective.  We need to evaluate and include in our written ministry statement measurable goals relating to equipping and encouraging parents to train their children as many parents will step into and fill their role if they feel equipped and are encouraged to follow-through.

    Along with equipping and encouraging parents we do have a role to fill in coming alongside and building on what parents are teaching their children.  We need to evaluate our Sunday School, Children's Church, Mid-week Club and Vacation Bible School to be certain these opportunities are genuinely effective.  We want children whose parents do train them to be further challenged to continue to understand and live God's Word as they participate in the opportunities we develop and provide at church.  We also need to be aware, while many parents will fill their role when they understand and are equipped to do so, there will be parents who - for whatever reason - will not accept this role.  In these cases, we in the church have a "surrogate" role to fill with these kids.  We can have a truly effective ministry that impacts lives in real and lasting ways and while we strive to pass a legacy of faith to these kids.  We need to also continue to try and reach the parents so they will put their faith in Christ and then be equipped and encouraged to train their children.

    Ministry to children is too important for us to ignore building, equipping and strengthening families.  If we have a ministry to children we also have to have a ministry to parents and the family as well.  When we commit to the whole ministry we will see families in the church strengthened and families from the community reached for Christ making a real, lasting and measurable impact on the community!
 

Something extra to think about . . .
    Consider involving parents who have strong marriages/families as "mentoring" parents for parents who are learning to train their children as this encouragement and accountability will strengthen parents and help them continue to follow through with training their children.

Something extra to think about . . .
    For parents who are not believers and have no desire to train their children, consider involving couples with strong marriages/families to serve as a type of mentor to children from these homes.  If you do this, be sure to do the following:

Screen volunteers.
Get parents permission
Commit to involve and minister to parents as much as possible, whenever possible.
Return to
Lynda's Corner
Return to
'Round About the Church
'Round About the Church - Adult Resources

Copyright © Lynda Freeman
Last Updated Feb. 18, 2003
Web Page by Lynda Freeman
Send an e-mail to Lynda at LyndaFreeman@roundaboutthechurch.com